Scientists say it is a state caused by the release of oxytocin, a hormone that has a calming effect on the body. It soothes the mind. In an elevated state of passion, oxytocin is accompanied by the dopamine and norepinephrine, two other hormones.
I don’t know which of these hormones worked, but day before yesterday I felt a tremendous urge to kiss Sara. And as it would happen the temptation was mutual. That is when I saw the news TV flashing that organizers of a kiss parade in Kochi were seeking the police’s permission. Then I heard someone had moved court to stop people from kissing.
As a law-abiding citizen I put in my own application for a permit to kiss. And I sent copies of the same to the Kerala Moral Police, who enforce a moral code of conduct much more efficiently than the Election Commission pushes its code. I also sent one copy to TV channels that keep hidden cameras to catch couples kissing. I just don’t want to offend anyone. No, I didn’t send any copy to Sara’s ex-boyfriend. A broken heart will never understand the virtue of self-sacrifice and non-violence. He will have to be in the dark about this.
It so happens the police have a single window clearance for applications for licence to kiss. As do the moral police. I got a response within 24 hours.
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REPLY FROM KERALA POLICE
Dear Mr Kutty,
We have received your application for Licence to Kiss. We are glad to inform that you may undertake the kiss (hereon referred to as the act) within the territorial limits of the state of Kerala, provided you satisfy the following terms and conditions fully.
TERMS
1) The act should not be committed within a distance of 75 metres from the following, namely:
a) Major educational institutions
b) Religious Places
c) Hospitals with fifty beds and above
d) Restaurants
e) Parks
Explanation I :- For the purpose of Clause (a) above, major educational institutions would mean middle and higher secondary schools, colleges and other institutions of higher learning recognised by the Government of Kerala or the Government of India.
Explanation II :- For the purpose of
Clause (b) above, a religious place would imply a religious place having a
pucca structure with a covered area of
more than 400 sq feet.
Explanation III :- The measurement of distance shall be from the mid-point of actual premises proposed for the act to mid-point of the actual main door/entrance of the building of the places mentioned in clauses (a), (b), (c), (d), (e) above.
2) The applicant must seek views of the public/residents, giving them 7 days’ time to file objections before the licensing authority. This has to be done through pasting of notices and also through public announcement in the area. A proper no objection certificate from the Resident Welfare Association or any other local sabha must be procured before the act is committed.
Any breach of the conditions will result in immediate cancellation of the licence.
Signature
Licencing Authority
Kerala Police
Our motto: Kiss Responsibly
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REPLY FROM KERALA MORAL POLICE
Dear Mr Kutty,
We have received your application for permission to kiss one Ms Sara. For convenience of the public, and safeguarding Indian Culture we have prescribed a few guidelines under a new Indian Moral Code that we have prepared in consultation with all stakeholders.
GUIDELINES
1) Every plan to kiss must be informed to the nearest branch of the moral police at least 24 hours before the actual act
2) If the nearest branch of the moral police is 30 kilometres or more from the venue of kiss, the notice period becomes 48 hours
3) If the moral police are not able to arrange enough TV cameras at the venue, the act may have to be postponed till the necessary arrangements are in place.
4) We are particularly interested in the dress to be worn during the act, the application should mention the same
5) The form should clearly mention the genders of the two applicants
6) Once the permission is granted, the act has to be undertaken. Forfeiture of permit to kiss will attract a fine of Rs 5,000
Signature
Kerala Moral Police
Our motto: (Still searching for one)
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There is one thing about oxytocin. It doesn’t wait for anyone.
Jasoos Kutty kissed Sara on November 2, without the permit. He kissed for a cause.
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