Thursday 28 April 2016
Monday 25 April 2016
Thursday 21 April 2016
Tuesday 19 April 2016
Monday 18 April 2016
Jasoss Kutty Runs for Kerala CM
(Use Kutty's election posters as a color book, send pics of colored posters..
Kutty is also available on Facebook and Twitter)
Kutty is also available on Facebook and Twitter)
Tuesday 12 April 2016
Jasoos Kutty replaces Harsha Bhogle
Harsha Bhogle is out. Jasoos Narayanan Kutty is the new voice of cricket
Jasoos Kutty: 19 runs from 6 balls. I would say the game is in India’s hands. From here on the West Indies would need a superhuman effort to win the game
Sara: Exactly what I have been trying to tell right from the beginning. They need a Vivian Richards, but he doesn’t play cricket anymore
“They don’t stand a chance against Ajooba Singh, who has pulled off many ajoobas in his short career.”
“Yes, he is called the Wonder Man not for nothing. Remember what he did the game against Bangladesh?”
Jasoos Kutty: 19 runs from 6 balls. I would say the game is in India’s hands. From here on the West Indies would need a superhuman effort to win the game
Sara: Exactly what I have been trying to tell right from the beginning. They need a Vivian Richards, but he doesn’t play cricket anymore
“They don’t stand a chance against Ajooba Singh, who has pulled off many ajoobas in his short career.”
“Yes, he is called the Wonder Man not for nothing. Remember what he did the game against Bangladesh?”
“Sara,
I think that victory was quite expected. Any gadha-ghoda could have won the
match for us.”
“How can you disrespect our own players? Amitabh Bachchan and the Captain won’t like it.”
“I had my doubts till 19.3 overs if Bangladesh will take the match away, but once they needed just 2 runs from 3 balls, I knew India will win.”
“How can you disrespect our own players? Amitabh Bachchan and the Captain won’t like it.”
“I had my doubts till 19.3 overs if Bangladesh will take the match away, but once they needed just 2 runs from 3 balls, I knew India will win.”
“How
did you know?”
“Ajooba, you might not know, always wanted to be a fast bowler. Right from his childhood when he was just 4 years old.”
“Ajooba, you might not know, always wanted to be a fast bowler. Right from his childhood when he was just 4 years old.”
“What
does that have to do with the Bangladesh match?”
“He was so obsessed, he went and joined the college unlike Sachin Tendulkar. There he mastered in quantum mechanics. He knew swing bowling was more to do with quantum mechanics than physical fitness, grip, shine, etc.”
“I don’t believe you. The Pakistanis never learnt any quantum mechanics, still they became masters of reverse swing.”
“Don’t bring Pakistan into this, they have a few hundred atom bombs, does it mean they built it themselves?”
“Still this quantum mechanics theory is hard to believe.”
“See you can swing the ball if you scrub
the ball, grip the ball in a particular way, build your muscles, perfect your
bowling action, but you don’t need to do any of that if you do masters in
quantum mechanics. Because then you are on solid ground, even if there is no
shine on the ball, you know what elevation and angle will give you reverse
swing. It is a complex formula, you just need to input the variables, and you
get the answer. Like at what height one should release the ball, where the ball
should pitch, what line should we bowl, etc”“He was so obsessed, he went and joined the college unlike Sachin Tendulkar. There he mastered in quantum mechanics. He knew swing bowling was more to do with quantum mechanics than physical fitness, grip, shine, etc.”
“I don’t believe you. The Pakistanis never learnt any quantum mechanics, still they became masters of reverse swing.”
“Don’t bring Pakistan into this, they have a few hundred atom bombs, does it mean they built it themselves?”
“Still this quantum mechanics theory is hard to believe.”
“Onnu poda, we are live on air, don’t forget that.”
“I would have explained all that but they just won’t understand it, you know. Even you won’t get it.”
“Give it a try.”
“OK. See it is not easy. First we have to find out
Then we have to find
Once you do that, we have to solve
Now is the tricky part,
this hardly anyone gets it right
After that if you can solve this one, you are there
“That’s
all, it is so easy.”
“Now against Bangladesh, Ajooba had an added advantage.”
“What?”
“Bangladesh learnt their cricket from us.”
“I didn’t get you.”
“We have taught them if it is a full toss, it has to be hit for six. So Ajooba already knew what the Bangladeshi’s response would be to a full toss.”
“What was the guarantee they wouldn’t hit a six on a full toss.”
“Quantum mechanics darling, quantum mechanics. Ajooba put in the values and used that formula and got the exact elevation, pitch and line of the delivery. Bangladeshis didn’t stand a chance against such precision.”
“Good for Bradman, Einstein didn’t play cricket.”
“Yes, always beware of bowlers with a physics degree.”
“Jasoos Kutty, coming back to the game, the West Indies need 19 runs form 6 balls.”
“And Ajooba Singh starts his runup… the third man boundary is covered, so is fine leg.”
“No fielders at long-on and long-off.”
“There is one at mid-wicket.”
“Ajooba bowls it into his legs, cramps Carlos for space.”
“Carlos somehow digs the ball out.”
“And it is a SIX.”
“Nonetheless a very good delivery from Ajooba Singh.”
“The plan was good, you know, cramping Carlos for space.”
“13 from 5 balls, Ajooba runs up to bowl his second delivery.”
“He has taken off the mid-off and mid-on, they are at long-on and long-off.”
“The fine leg and third man are inside the circle.”
“That is a fantastic yorker, Ajooba is the best in the business.”
“Now against Bangladesh, Ajooba had an added advantage.”
“What?”
“Bangladesh learnt their cricket from us.”
“I didn’t get you.”
“We have taught them if it is a full toss, it has to be hit for six. So Ajooba already knew what the Bangladeshi’s response would be to a full toss.”
“What was the guarantee they wouldn’t hit a six on a full toss.”
“Quantum mechanics darling, quantum mechanics. Ajooba put in the values and used that formula and got the exact elevation, pitch and line of the delivery. Bangladeshis didn’t stand a chance against such precision.”
“Good for Bradman, Einstein didn’t play cricket.”
“Yes, always beware of bowlers with a physics degree.”
“Jasoos Kutty, coming back to the game, the West Indies need 19 runs form 6 balls.”
“And Ajooba Singh starts his runup… the third man boundary is covered, so is fine leg.”
“No fielders at long-on and long-off.”
“There is one at mid-wicket.”
“Ajooba bowls it into his legs, cramps Carlos for space.”
“Carlos somehow digs the ball out.”
“And it is a SIX.”
“Nonetheless a very good delivery from Ajooba Singh.”
“The plan was good, you know, cramping Carlos for space.”
“13 from 5 balls, Ajooba runs up to bowl his second delivery.”
“He has taken off the mid-off and mid-on, they are at long-on and long-off.”
“The fine leg and third man are inside the circle.”
“That is a fantastic yorker, Ajooba is the best in the business.”
“Attempted yorker, Carlos manages to scoop it.”
“Again a SIX.”
“But you can’t blame Ajooba, he did what he had to do. He tried a yorker.”
“7 needed from 4 deliveries.”
“Ajooba
telling Skipper where he wants his fielders.”
“Ajooba has laid a trap for Carlos, he now has a fielder at square leg.”
“A bouncer it will be.”
“Good thought. If Carlos miscues the pull or hook, the square leg will be in business.”
“But no, it is another fullish delivery.”
“But Carlos was troubled, he was expecting a bouncer. Great thinking by Ajooba.”
“Once again the batsman manages to hit it out of the ground.”
“Even the best plans fail at times, Ajooba shouldn’t lose heart.”
“He still has 3 deliveries to play with.”
“The West Indies need 1 run from 3 deliveries.”
“Ajooba now calls all fielders in. He is not giving up yet. Shere-e-Punjab, Skipper-e-Jharkhand.”
“Three dot balls, and the match is a tie.”
“Only Ajooba can do it.”
“Ajooba runs up, will he bowl a yorker?”
“Another tremendous bit of bowling by Ajooba.”
“Ajooba pulls off a wonder, when no one is expecting him to. A fantastic bouncer. A beautiful bouncer.”
“Ajooba has laid a trap for Carlos, he now has a fielder at square leg.”
“A bouncer it will be.”
“Good thought. If Carlos miscues the pull or hook, the square leg will be in business.”
“But no, it is another fullish delivery.”
“But Carlos was troubled, he was expecting a bouncer. Great thinking by Ajooba.”
“Once again the batsman manages to hit it out of the ground.”
“Even the best plans fail at times, Ajooba shouldn’t lose heart.”
“He still has 3 deliveries to play with.”
“The West Indies need 1 run from 3 deliveries.”
“Ajooba now calls all fielders in. He is not giving up yet. Shere-e-Punjab, Skipper-e-Jharkhand.”
“Three dot balls, and the match is a tie.”
“Only Ajooba can do it.”
“Ajooba runs up, will he bowl a yorker?”
“Another tremendous bit of bowling by Ajooba.”
“Ajooba pulls off a wonder, when no one is expecting him to. A fantastic bouncer. A beautiful bouncer.”
“But rather uglily hit for a SIX.”
“The West Indies win the match, but narrowly.”
A long pause follows. Kutty and Sara allow the moment to sink in.
“So Mr Kutty, what went wrong for Ajooba.”
“Carlos also has a masters in quantum physics”
Wednesday 6 April 2016
Tuesday 5 April 2016
Monday 4 April 2016
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