These
are good days for the aam aadmi. I have been hired by some big MNCs, a few
political parties in India
and several spy agencies with special interest in our country. All of them want
to know why people are voting for the Aam Aadmi Party and who I will vote for.
As a first step I got one of my sources to get me a copy of Arvind Kejriwal’s diary. I hoped it would tell me his election strategy but it just listed his engagements for the day. No luck there.
One of the old theories of crime detection is, you would know if you watch Sherlock and other crime series, put yourself in the subject’s position. So I wore a muffler, wrapped it around my head, and put an AAP cap on top of it. Then I took a metro to Pragati Maidan, where I stopped for a cup of steaming tea. The chaiwallah didn’t take any money from me, he said, “Aap to desh bachane nikale hain, aapse mein kya paisaa loon? (You are going to save this country, how can I charge you money?)”. I am sure he mistook me for Yogendra Yadav.
The confirmation came when I was accosted by a couple of reporters outside the secretariat. They asked me what I thought about Prashant Bhushan’s comments on Kashmir, and I went, ‘Oh! Not again.’ I replied, “I don’t know what he said but whatever he said is not our Kashmir policy.”
The next question: What do you think about the attacks on AAP by the Congress, the BJP and the Left? I thought for a few seconds, remembered a Malayalam movie dialogue my facebook friend shared recently, modified it slightly and held forth, “Although the secularists, the pseudo-secularists and the neo-secularists appear to be separate, there are active undercurrents between the three, and not to forget under-the-table dealings between them. Add to that, the Business is biased against us. In short, caste-ism, class divide, imperialism, feudalism, jingoism, and any other -ism you can think of, will not allow people’s true will to prevail. We are trying to change all that.” That settled the matter.
One full week of impersonating AAP leaders, and I got a fair idea of what is happening. Later when I had my daily quota of rum, coke and ganja, my understanding of the new experiment in democracy got clearer and better. Here are my findings about the Aam Aadmi Party.
1) Foreign policy
That is a concept completely alien to AAP. It is one reason my foreign friends are worried. A few of the AAP leaders hate the West in general and the US in particular, a few hate China and some of them dislike Russia. Non-alignment seems an easy choice.
2) Kashmir policy
Prashant Bhushan wants referendum in Kashmir. My reading is AAP would settle for a referendum in the rest of the country on what to do on the Kashmir issue.
3) Economic policy
Reads a bit like foreign policy. A few like free market economy, a few like state-controlled economy, but all of them agree on having subsidies.
4) Corruption
No divide here. We are all against corruption.
5) Populism
The Aam Aadmi Party is truly a party of the people. They don’t say no to any demand. Forget courts, AAP is the best bet to get gay sex decriminalized. I have a small demand of my own. Many countries are lifting the ban on marijuana, why not us?
Now, why I will vote for the Aam Aadmi Party.
1) I am an aam aadmi
2) We may not have an economic policy. We may end up bleeding the country’s finances, but mainstream parties shouldn’t complain. We, the people, will be doing it.
3) I hate all politicians. Politics is a means of making money for them. An honest politician is a rare breed.
4) I now believe in the power of democracy. Faceless people were elected in Delhi, tomorrow a Kumar Vishwas could beat a Rahul Gandhi, and a Narayanan Kutty could beat a Narendra Modi.
5) Above all, voting for AAP is fashionable now.
As a first step I got one of my sources to get me a copy of Arvind Kejriwal’s diary. I hoped it would tell me his election strategy but it just listed his engagements for the day. No luck there.
One of the old theories of crime detection is, you would know if you watch Sherlock and other crime series, put yourself in the subject’s position. So I wore a muffler, wrapped it around my head, and put an AAP cap on top of it. Then I took a metro to Pragati Maidan, where I stopped for a cup of steaming tea. The chaiwallah didn’t take any money from me, he said, “Aap to desh bachane nikale hain, aapse mein kya paisaa loon? (You are going to save this country, how can I charge you money?)”. I am sure he mistook me for Yogendra Yadav.
The confirmation came when I was accosted by a couple of reporters outside the secretariat. They asked me what I thought about Prashant Bhushan’s comments on Kashmir, and I went, ‘Oh! Not again.’ I replied, “I don’t know what he said but whatever he said is not our Kashmir policy.”
The next question: What do you think about the attacks on AAP by the Congress, the BJP and the Left? I thought for a few seconds, remembered a Malayalam movie dialogue my facebook friend shared recently, modified it slightly and held forth, “Although the secularists, the pseudo-secularists and the neo-secularists appear to be separate, there are active undercurrents between the three, and not to forget under-the-table dealings between them. Add to that, the Business is biased against us. In short, caste-ism, class divide, imperialism, feudalism, jingoism, and any other -ism you can think of, will not allow people’s true will to prevail. We are trying to change all that.” That settled the matter.
One full week of impersonating AAP leaders, and I got a fair idea of what is happening. Later when I had my daily quota of rum, coke and ganja, my understanding of the new experiment in democracy got clearer and better. Here are my findings about the Aam Aadmi Party.
1) Foreign policy
That is a concept completely alien to AAP. It is one reason my foreign friends are worried. A few of the AAP leaders hate the West in general and the US in particular, a few hate China and some of them dislike Russia. Non-alignment seems an easy choice.
2) Kashmir policy
Prashant Bhushan wants referendum in Kashmir. My reading is AAP would settle for a referendum in the rest of the country on what to do on the Kashmir issue.
3) Economic policy
Reads a bit like foreign policy. A few like free market economy, a few like state-controlled economy, but all of them agree on having subsidies.
4) Corruption
No divide here. We are all against corruption.
5) Populism
The Aam Aadmi Party is truly a party of the people. They don’t say no to any demand. Forget courts, AAP is the best bet to get gay sex decriminalized. I have a small demand of my own. Many countries are lifting the ban on marijuana, why not us?
Now, why I will vote for the Aam Aadmi Party.
1) I am an aam aadmi
2) We may not have an economic policy. We may end up bleeding the country’s finances, but mainstream parties shouldn’t complain. We, the people, will be doing it.
3) I hate all politicians. Politics is a means of making money for them. An honest politician is a rare breed.
4) I now believe in the power of democracy. Faceless people were elected in Delhi, tomorrow a Kumar Vishwas could beat a Rahul Gandhi, and a Narayanan Kutty could beat a Narendra Modi.
5) Above all, voting for AAP is fashionable now.
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