Only Rahul can stop Modi, but will he?

Even during my toughest missions in the remotest areas hunting down enemies, even when I am busy seducing or being seduced by pretty spies and operatives of all kinds, even when I am getting drunk on arrack and rum, even when I am experimenting with truth, half truths and innocent lies… I don’t take my eyes off my primary objective – that is world peace. But that is not the case with Rahul Gandhi.

Rahul is a nice chap. A handsome old young man with no known vices and quite a tharavadi. In short,  sundar and susheel. Qualities any parent would seek when looking for a match for their daughter.  Now the problem is he is not seeking a bride but looking for votes, enough of them to unseat Narendra Modi in 2024 or even 2028.

Nothing he has done till now gives his fans the confidence he will be able to do it.

Look at this. Rahul goes to Bihar where Tejashwi is working up huge crowds with his promise of 10 lakh govt jobs and what does he do? He starts talking about demonetization. Agreed note ban was a blunder of gigantic proportions, but people have moved on, and don’t seem to mind the trouble DeMo brought on them. 

For Rahul, somewhere the fight has become personal.

He probably hates the PM who has slapped cases against the entire Gandhi family and bad-mouths the dynasty starting from Jawaharlal Nehru. Naturally so.  But he was not out there seeking votes to settle a personal score.

He probably thinks 'how does that dumbo rule the country while I sit in the opposition', but then the BJP says Rahul is the dumbo, and unfortunately for Rahul, the voter seems to share that view.

To be a politician you have to have two necessary qualities. One, he or she must be a good communicator. Rahul is not. Two, he or she has to be a cunning backroom player. 

If the BJP can build a Hindu umbrella alliance, who is stopping the Congress from a forming a Brahmin-Dalit-Muslim tieup in let us say, Uttar Pradesh.

If BJP can split votes by fielding Asaduddin Owaisi, as the Congress claims, what is stopping the Congress doing something similar to the BJP.

Rahul is neither a communicator nor a cunning operator.

Like I have written in a post earlier, a Priyanka or a Rahul won’t win the elections for the Congress just because they are a Gandhi. We have moved on from the dynasty and it’s time the party and the family realized that.

I don’t know if Priyanka can revive the party, but from the 11 years we have seen of Rahul, we can safely conclude he can’t.

Every time he joins a protest or supports a cause, the BJP is able to dodge the bullet.

For example the current farmer protests have cornered the Narendra Modi govt and what stands out is Rahul’s absence.

Rahul Gandhi must focus on the objective.

If the aim is to remove Narendra Modi from the throne, then Rahul must abdicate and let someone else lead the Congress into the next election.

If the aim is to be the chocolate boy of Indian politics, he has won the title hands down. It’s time he let someone else take a shot at that title too.

7 reasons why I idolise Modi

PM Narendra Modi goes to the jungle when he wants to introspect or contemplate big issues of life like how to eat the mango. Who take so much trouble - taking a bus to the jungle, staying there for a whole week, drinking a cup of tea and waiting for nirvana to happen. I just go to the balcony and take a bottle of Jawan rum with me. I just had two double large and it got me thinking. Why am I a Modi fan? Since I am still high as I put it on paper, I will be brutally honest.

1. Modi an inspiration for the average student

Modi comes from a humble background. You will say Manmohan too was a poor chap, a victim of partition who rebuilt his life, secured a doctorate in economics from Cambridge or Oxford or wherever, headed the central bank of India and went on to become the Prime Minister. That is the difference. Modi did none of that and yet became the Prime Minister. He is an inspiration for the millions of average students like us who have grown up suffering lectures from our parents on the importance of studies. ‘Learn English and maths and you are through,’ was the common refrain. Now we know all that was not needed. If I may say, Modi is the Bill Gates of politics. 

2. Muslims have been shown their place

I ask those lecturing about secularism why should I bother about Muslims. I hardly meet any in the offices I work or where I live. I hear their population is rising. Whatsapp tells me they are always plotting something or the other. The Modi govt has shown them their place, and it doesn’t add to much. No more minority vote bank deciding who rules India. Before you accuse me of Islamophobia, let me make it clear I like the biryanis, kababs, haleem and mutton barra they make.

3. The myth of saffron terror 

Hindus don’t commit acts of terror. They only lynch or murder. Terrorism is the sole preserve of Muslims. You doubt me? Look around the globe. The US, Europe, Sri Lanka… A few people argue Muslims are the largest victims of terrorism, that ISIS has killed thousands of Muslims. That is their problem, not mine.

4. Pakistan

We Indians had so many kings and emperors in the past. Do you remember any of them for the work they did? For example do you know India was the richest country in the world under Akbar the Great. Do you talk about the religious tolerance in his kingdom. No. What you remember is the wars he waged, and ones we want to believe he lost. Even the world wars, what we know is who won, who lost, not the number of dead or the nuclear bombing or the misery the war unleashed on millions of people. Everybody loves a war. Modi promises one every now and then against an enemy who keeps needling us.

5. General knowledge

For us in school, social studies, for that matter any subject, was boring. Modi has made them exciting. Now we merrily discuss how Jawaharlal Nehru, that scoundrel of the highest order, backstabbed Subhas Chandra Bose, Sardar Patel and Mahatma Gandhi, all in one go. The study of history was never as thrilling as it is now. Forget that, we on social media now discuss the Aryan migration theory vs Aryan invasion theory vs the export of vedas theory. Had Sonia Gandhi been the PM, we would have been taking down pizza recipes from Internet.

6. Entertainment 

Modi gives us tax-free entertainment. No need to get into a car, go to the multiplex, book tickets for hundreds of rupees, needlessly munch butter-soaked popcorn. Now we eat home-made pakodas with chai while watching Rockstar Modi live on TV from wherever he is. There are times I get so thrilled by the stunts, I start shouting ‘Modi, Modi’.

7. Modi speaks our language 

Manmohan Singh, though from a humble background, spoke like an intellectual. He will talk about fiscal deficit, current account deficit, mortgage crisis, in a language ordinary people can’t use or understand. May be he did it on purpose so that Rahul Gandhi doesn’t understand either. Modi is not like that. What he wants he says upfront. He cracks jokes, which many find distasteful. See every joke comes at someone’s expense, sometimes at autistic kids’, other times at women’s. But that is how we people talk. The only thing Modi hasn’t said and the only joke he hasn’t cracked is the MC-BC variety we use liberally. Modi is one among us.

My third double large down, I feel like Karan Johar after his toast. I am going to take the fourth one now.