Modi is Douglas Jardine and Bradman rolled into one

Elections are to Narendra Modi what runs were to Sir Donald Bradman. Except, cricket was a gentleman’s game then, and there was never anything gentlemanly about politics.

Modi will do anything to win elections. He will stand tall one second, he will stoop low the next.

The airstrike on Balakot marked a big shift in India’s strategy in the fight against terror and its chief sponsor Pakistan. For the first time Indian Air Force jets crossed the line of control since 1971. But for the BJP, it wasn’t good enough. They needed to a put number to the kill, a number good enough for their 56 chaathi leader. So they said 300 terrorists killed, though the govt officially never mentioned it.

That is Modi’s style. Now endless memes and fake news videos will be circulated in the most effective election tools of our age, that is Whatsapp and Facebook.
And people generally believe whatever they get on whatsapp. 2019 could well be an election which will be decided by fake news and innuendos.

That much is evident from Modi’s statements since the air raid. He is already asking people ‘are you with us or them’, bracketing the opposition with terrorists. No one has done this before, probably no one will do later.

The opposition’s challenge is to find a leader who can pay Modi back in the same coin. Someone who can be as mean, as arrogant, as angry, and at times as witty as Modi. And that somebody must speak Hindi. Hindi heartland is where the BJP needs to be defeated if opposition fancies any chance of winning power.

What are their options then?

Nitish Kumar was a good bet, but he chose to sleep with the enemy.

Lalu Yadav could have done it, but he is in jail.

Akhilesh Yadav has the ability, but his popularity is restricted to UP.

Kanhaiya Kumar can do it, but he is in the wrong party, and lacks stature.

You are left with Rahul Gandhi.

Rahul has many strengths. He appears sincere, has a boyish charm. He has his weaknesses too. He can’t be mean even if he wanted to. He can’t be witty, that doesn’t come naturally to him.

They are left with one person who could do the job. Priyanka Vadra. For some strange reason the Congress has restricted her to some 35 seats in UP, where they in any case don’t stand a chance to win much. Any gain the Congress makes there will only weaken the SP-BSP and help the BJP. The party is saving its brahmastra for bigger battles ahead which makes one wonder what can be a bigger fight than the Lok Sabha election.

Like I said, votes are to Modi, what runs were to Bradman.

Modi however is more than that. He doesn’t play by the rules. Modi wants to make the 2019 elections presidential. He is telling the voter, it is either me or that dimwit Rahul. To hammer this message, he can go to any extent. He will call Rahul mentally retarded, that is what he meant when he called his rival dyslexic, pardon his ignorance and insensitivity. He will call Rahul anti-national, don’t be surprised if one of these days he calls him a terrorist as well.

Whatsapp and social media have made politics as thrilling as a Twenty20 match. And just like we appreciate Virat Kohli giving it back to the Aussies, society as a whole, especially middle class, like the crass sledging Modi and his teammates indulge in.

Modi is ready to play dirty to win a match, whether it is underarm bowling or bodyline bowling. Modi is Douglas Jardine and Bradman rolled into one. Now that is a combo hard to match, tough to beat.

Kumbalangi musings

Kumbalangi Nights, where the days are never boring. There is always some action, good or bad.

A family of brothers not on good terms mostly, two of them lazy, one a mute, and the fourth a school student - Kumbalangi Nights is their story.

Along the way you get glimpses of Kerala’s societal issues like moral policing and voluntary unemployment (a word coined by Bibek Debroy), alcoholism, suicides.

It’s a simple story, a simple script, a simple movie.

All the actors do their bit very well, the newcomers included.

To Fahadh Faasil’s credit, he is still not caught in the trappings of superstardom. He is willing to share screen space, even cede space to, capable actors like Shane Nigam, who could well be a superstar in the making, and Soubin Shahir.

Anna Ben as Babymol is cute. The ease with which she plays down an inter-religion marriage saying, “so what, Christ is no stranger to us”, was kola mass.

Kumbalangi Nights ticks all the boxes. It might even appeal to an overseas audience. But that is it. It is a good movie - good but not great.

We expect a lot more from the Dileesh Pothan stable. May I say ‘yeh dil maange more.’ 

CAG's Report on Rafale Explained

A gazillion reasons why Priyanka will fail, and one reason why she may not

In our childhood we rarely got to eat out. Once in a while we would go to nearby arrack shops to eat beef or mutton. Now, because it is a rare occasion, we cherished those visits. So much so, we wouldn’t use the soap to wash our hands in order to preserve the aroma of the spicy food. Every now and then we would smell our hands and relive the taste.

When Priyanka Gandhi campaigned in Bellary for her mother in 1999 against Sushma Swaraj, she broke the security cordon to interact with women and kids. All she did was shake hands or pat the cheeks, but the recipients of the affection were left in awe and admiration. The joke then was that those who got to shake hands with her, including journalists, didn’t wash their hands to savour the perfume she was wearing.

That was then. The Bellary of 2019 is not the Bellary of 1999. What was then a poverty-ridden countryside is now home to millionaires who rode the wave of liberalisation and mining scams. The region has a thriving middle class today.

What I mean is India has changed. The Congress is not going improve its tally in Uttar Pradesh just because Priyanka Gandhi is going to campaign for them.

A Congress bhakt can argue Priyanka is sundar and susheel, but then so are Priyanka Chopra and Deepika Padukone. Would they win elections for a party because they are sundar and susheel?

The surname? The less said the better.

As things stand now, even the big daddy of Gandhis - Mohandas Karamchand -- will not win an election in UP, if he were to contest today. You would call me ignorant and stupid for saying so, but damn it, there are enough BJP bhakts who believe the Mahatma lent the Gandhi surname to Feroze so that Indira could spawn a dynasty.

Priyanka’s resemblance to Indira is also of no use. Those days people had to stand in long queues every month for their share of ration and felt in debt to the Iron Lady for providing do waqt ki roti. Those very exact people are now above 60 and would add up to less than 10% of the population.

The rest have heard stories of Indira of winning a war against Pakistan, but have also heard stories of how she didn’t keep the spoils of the war. They have also heard stories of licence raj, bank nationalisation, etc , etc… No matter what the Gandhi family says, this lot would rather believe a Modi when he says he spends 5 days in a jungle every year or he does yoga every day or he killed a crocodile as a child (which his bhakts claim).

Why go back, there is enough evidence to suggest Priyanka’s campaigns won’t work. She did campaign in 2014. You can’t say it doesn’t count as she limited herself to Amethi, these days you don’t need to physically campaign in remote locations, television and social media are there to spread the message. More recently she campaigned for brother Rahul and Akhilesh in 2017. What came of it?

That doesn’t mean it’s a hopeless scenario.

A journalist once described Priyanka’s role in politics so far, as that of an item girl, but she has now graduated to the main cast. It certainly brings some opportunities for the Congress.

Rahul is not a natural when it comes to countering Modi’s attacks, especially when he gets personal. The Congress president has countered that weakness by being the ‘good boy'. With Priyanka, she is capable of payback. And she is a woman. Even a Modi will think twice before passing a comment on her.

If the Congress denies BJP a majority in 2019, it will not because Priyanka entered politics, but because people are unhappy with Modi. Priyanka’s job, Rahul’s as well, will be to tap this frustration and expose the rival effectively.

The Gandhi surname can help Rahul become the president, and Priyanka become the general secretary, of the Indian National Congress, but people of India don’t vote for them anymore because they are Gandhis.

Rafale deal for Dummies

Lessons for Rahul from the Hindi Heartland

1. Make no mistake, verdict is against Modi

Narendra Modi and Amit Shah are like galli cricket captains. When you know you are going to lose you find excuses beforehand and try to stay away from the defeat. When you get out, you express your disappointment by shrugging, feigning helplessness, showing anger. The expressions are meant to say, “What all can I do alone?”

Now the trouble is Modi expected his party to lose in Rajasthan and Madhya Pradesh, and lose badly at that. So he addressed fewer rallies there. When he spoke, he spoke about the Nehru-Gandhi family, his govt’s initiatives, the failures of the Congress, but didn’t have anything nice to say about Shivraj Singh Chouhan or Vasundhara Raje. It was as if Chouhan and Raje had done nothing of significance to be highlighted. Essentially he was saying, “How can I score all the runs always?”

Was it anti-incumbency that ended BJP’s terms in Rajasthan and Madhya Pradesh as pundits on TV would want us to believe?

No. If it was anti-incumbency, the BJP would have been wiped out. Without much help from the central leadership, Chouhan and Raje were able to put up a fight. In both states, the Congress wasn’t able to get clear majority. If anything, the vote was anger against the Modi govt’s policies than the state govt’s.

2. Rahul vs Modi is not a walkover 

Rahul Gandhi should not shy away from a duel with Modi. Especially in states where the Congress and BJP are in direct fights. What is the point in saying 'I have several batsmen like Ashok Gehlot, Sachin Pilot, Kamal Nath, Jyotiraditya Scindia', and score no runs yourself. People will be tempted to ask if you are a non-playing captain, then why do we need you at all?

3. Play to your strength

Modi knows this better than anyone else. He is a very good orator, but not the Vajpayee kind. He is more the angry man who taunts and mocks his rivals. Rahul shouldn’t try to be what Modi is. The country has space for only one Modi, not two. In any case, a clone is unlikely to be better than the original. Rahul can play the sheet anchor role. But then who does all the slogging that is needed. Let leaders like Navjot Sidhu do that. The Left may lend a helping hand, by unleashing Kanhaiya Kumar in the rural belt. Stay away from Kanhaiya by all means, but if he can swing a few votes, why not?

4. Hindutva Lite is working
Soft Hindutva is working, let there be no doubts about it. A Hindu voter in today’s India, especially the middle class one, is not going to the polling booth thinking, “I will not vote for Rahul because he is making an exhibition of his religious beliefs. How the hell he can do that in a secular nation? It is against the spirit of the Constitution, I will vote to uphold the Constitution.” Soft Hindutva is not going to win over Modi bhakts, but it definitely works with the fence-sitters. Given a choice between a Hindu with spears and an unarmed temple-hopping Hindu, the voters in the cow belt chose the less violent one, didn’t they?

5. Stop listening to liberal intellectuals 

Empty symbolisms mean nothing. Rahul will get ample time to do that if he comes to power. Liberal intellectuals live in a fantasy world. They can write about the transformation of the Congress into the B team of the BJP because they are not the ones fighting elections. They just have to write from the comfort of their study or debate on primetime TV from the comfort of their homes (these days OB vans go to their houses). In the unlikely event of Rahul listening to them and losing elections (which he may still do), they will tell Rahul how incompetent he is. What a morale booster that would be. 

BJP loses Hindi heartland, Modi & Co brainstorm